smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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