i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
