I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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