Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
