farters have to be the big spoon...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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