I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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