I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
