it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
