member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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