nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
