lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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