We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
