Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
