How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
