Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
