Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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