Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Do you remember last night at all? Be honest

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.

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(607): View more from New York

you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later

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(269): View more from Michigan

So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

ugh yes i love our date nights

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.

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(713): View more from Texas

You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!

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(714): View more from California

I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.

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