Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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