Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
