Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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