okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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