Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
