yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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