yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
