she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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