Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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