I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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