and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
