saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
