We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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