Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
