I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
