I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
