i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
