Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is it penis luge time yet?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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