I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
