White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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