Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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