She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
