YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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