just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
