Are we in a gay sports bar?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
