Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
