im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
