The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
