Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
