Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
