i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
