She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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