Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
