I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
