The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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