...so i touched it.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
